Day 184- Break the Rules

Today I lost my mom. She lived a wonderful life, and was loved by so many people. I can remember as a child always hanging onto my mom or falling asleep in her lap. I never wanted to let her go. Today is definitely a sad day.

I can't imagine living the second half of my life without my mom. I know that she will always be with me wherever I go. People tell me all the time how much I look like her, and now when people tell me that I'll take pride in that fact. That is something nobody can ever take away from me. I will always look like my mom that's not going to change.

We also both played the piano, and even though I complained about it I think I will actually miss playing our Christmas duets in that old and tattered Christmas book we had.

I also remember going shopping with my mom. When we'd go shopping she always had to get a shirt, skirt or dress that had flowers on it. She loved flowers. I think most of the clothing in her closet probably has flowers on it. That seemed to be her signature look. Myself on the other hand, I tend to wear clothing with dark and dreary colors.

I also remember the calls I would always get from my mom. Even in my 30's if I didn't call her back right away she would always get worried about me, and you could always hear that worry in her voice. It was at that point that I always knew that I had better give her a call.

Whenever she left me a voicemail it would always begin the same way, and would always make my husband smile. The first thing she would say was "Hi Peg!", but it wasn't the words, it was how she said it. It was always in the same, exact, bright and cheerful voice. It never varied. I can still hear her voice saying "Hi Peg!"in my head as I write this. I have so many memories of my mom. I will never forget her. She will be in my heart forever.

So today I decided to not be afraid to break the rules. I have so many tasks I've done these last 184 days, but today I decided to not worry about it. If I want to eat some peanut butter M&M's I'm going to eat some. If I don't feel like cleaning today I won't. I will just sit and remember all of the good memories I had with my mom.