Confessions of a Socially Awkward Person

I have always considered myself to be a rather shy person. Some people may wonder how it is even possible for someone so shy to have a job where they play the piano, organ and sometimes sing several times a week for church? Well, it hasn't always been easy; I used to suffer from awful stage fright. I literally would force myself to play in front of people on a regular basis to get over this fear. That fear could have held me back, but I chose to conquer it and my life has been so much better because of it.

But what really gets me now is my awkwardness in social situations. This is my new hurdle I need to get over. Sometimes I joke about being socially awkward, but it can be rather frustrating at times. To get a better idea about what defines a socially awkward person I have listed a few of our traits:

1. The tendency to feel awkward in social situations (obviously).
2. The lack of understanding as to what is appropriate in normal social situations. 
3. The tendency to not always get our point across in an accurate way.
4. Conversations lack a consistent flow.
5. Frequently being avoided or ridiculed by others (This is the only one I don't think applies to me; at least I hope not.)
6. The lack of meaningful connections with others.

For anyone who knows me they may be laughing right now, because I so obviously fit most of these traits; it's actually kind of scary how accurate this is. Others may not think I fit any of these traits. But that is because there are those few select people in my life where this just does not apply. Congratulations/Sorry if you are one of those people.

So how does being a socially awkward person make me feel? Well it makes me feel happy and I just love it when... Okay obviously it does not make me happy. Why would it? That's silly. What it does make me feel is frustrated, abandoned, upset, alone, unimportant etc. I know those are strong feelings, but in certain situations that is how I feel. I think anyone else would feel the same.

Just because I have those strong feelings does not mean I am a depressed person. It's not as though I'm sitting at home in utter despair and crying myself to sleep;  Although, I did do that last week when the Packers lost. As I said, that is just how I feel when I am in certain situations. I think most people can see I am a pretty happy person. But I really feel as though I have this need to form a stronger connection with others around me. Just like I confronted my stage fright, it is time I also confront this fear of social situations.

Now what can I do about this? All I really need to do is a few little things:  I need to think before I speak, be the conversation starter, and above all not be afraid of failure, because I'm sure to run across a few bumps in the road and I may fail in my initial attempts to become a more sociably adept person. It seems easy, but I need to put forth the effort and I need to have patience that I will overcome this fear in due time.